Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
