I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we're making bets on your personal life
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
