Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
