BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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