too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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