You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
