i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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