I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
