why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
