I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
