I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
