she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
