But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
