I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
