I looked at my own cervix.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
