I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was confusing and full of hummus
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to be your penis for a week.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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