Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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