Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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