My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Life is so much better after having sex.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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