Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
