Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
