So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
