I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
