I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
