What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
