I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
