Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
