My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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