Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
