My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
