this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
