You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it hurts more in the daytime
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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