you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
