the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize