Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
