Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
