Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize