Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
