Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Bring me that man meat
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
