why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
