Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
