I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you never un-have a 4some
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
