Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
