Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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