Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
