One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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