I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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