Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
how does that bad decision feel?
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