is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
