butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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