Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
