I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize