i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize