Nicole vs. Life
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
