I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
