How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize
