Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My bed smells like the plague
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