maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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