Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
