let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize