This is not my ceiling
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
