Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
